In the Diary of St. Faustina, I find many passages that resonate with me and are alive in the context of the suffering I experience. I wish to reflect on the following excerpt: ” Suffering is a great grace. By suffering the soul becomes more like its Saviour; suffering crystallises love. The greater the suffering, the purer the love.” (Diary 57)
“Suffering is a great grace.” This challenging teaching of Christ, as well as the mystery of our faith, has accompanied me for years in my experience of disability related to very poor eyesight. I accept it naturally, feeling chosen, gifted, and invited to a special closeness with Jesus the Merciful and with others.
“By suffering the soul becomes more like its Saviour; suffering crystallises love.” More or less consciously, I try to connect my daily struggles with the redemptive suffering of Jesus, believing that in this way I can participate in the work of saving souls. Becoming similar to Jesus is a school of learning His love in order to share it with others, which St. Faustina invites us to do. The more we gaze into the Heart of the Lord Jesus, full of love and mercy, the more humility and sensitivity to the needs of others we have. Every day, I strive to bring Jesus to people, bending down to them, to their life struggles, their battles with illness, loneliness through frequent phone calls, meetings, joint activities, volunteering at Caritas, and prayer. This mutual giving builds wonderful, deep relationships filled with trust, love, and joy.
“The greater the suffering, the purer the love.” The love that Christ teaches us is demanding. I feel that this is precisely what the Lord expects from me in this recent period of my life, testing my faith and trust in Him. For a year and a half, I have been struggling daily with abdominal pain that, despite the efforts of many specialists and tests, has not been diagnosed. Perhaps I am facing a surgical procedure.
I remember the words I shared with one of our Sisters after the ceremony of my inclusion in the Association of Faustinum: “I feel so happy experiencing the immense love of God, closeness, and guidance in my life that I don’t know what would have to happen for this happiness to be interrupted…” And in a way, this has happened from my human perspective, as I can no longer serve God and bring Him to people with the same commitment and joy as before. It seems that God has some plan in this. I feel as if my self-love is being purified and diminished. My soul longs for people, for action, while my body greatly limits it. The further realization of my professional plans, travels, and various commitments has become impossible. I often struggle to go to the nearby parish church, to go shopping, and I find it difficult to engage in a phone conversation or prayer. In this lesson of humility and self-denial, in helplessness, fear, and physical and mental fatigue due to daily pain, I know that Jesus the Merciful is watching over me, is always with me and within me, as well as in the people He gives me. Therefore, I continue to focus on what is most important – caring for my path of spiritual growth, undertaking small works for God’s glory, nurturing relationships with loved ones and friends, responding to their needs, and surrounding them with my prayers. I still derive great joy from serving in my parish, especially in leading the community “Upper Room of Prayer for Priests.” Individual formation in Faustinum, as well as participating in the meetings of the Łódź (Polish city) community of Faustinum, is an invaluable gift that brings me strength, trust, peace, and joy.
The Lord Jesus shows us the value of suffering, but He does not stop there, as He knows best how difficult this experience is. In the conversation between the Merciful God and the suffering soul, the Lord Jesus brings immense comfort, strengthening, and soothing to St. Faustina and each of us; He does not leave us alone.
Jesus said to St. Faustina: “Soul, I see you are suffering so much that you don’t have the strength even to talk to Me. I shall speak to you Myself, soul. Even should your suffering be the greatest of sufferings, do not lose your peace of mind, nor submit to discouragement. (…) My child, you must not be discouraged; I know you have boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy (…) Tell it to Me straight, like a friend to a friend. (…) Child, true enough, it’s all suffering, yet there’s no other way to Heaven, but the way of the cross. I went along it first. But you should know that it is the shortest and surest way.” (Diary 1487)
Agnieszka, member of “Faustinum,” Poland
