Lesson 3 – Temptations
How can You hide Yourself from a heart that loves You so sincerely? (Diary, 25).
Another crucial step, apart from telling God about our discouragement and senselessness in telling Him about our sufferings, might be the discovery of the temptations that appear in our hearts towards Him alone. Can we reveal our hearts to someone who is not interested in us? Or a person who can not help us? Or maybe in front of someone who condemns us, laughs, turns his back? The answer will certainly be negative. However, if such an image of God appears at the beginning of our prayer, we must resolutely oppose it. We also have to be aware that there is someone (Satan) who cares enough so that we are left alone with temptations and that the wound of our suffering will not be filled with God’s mercy. Sister Faustina suggests: I have now learned that Satan hates mercy more than anything else. It is his greatest torment (Diary, 764).
In the dialogue of the soul suffering with God, a very subtle formulated sentence appears, being an echo of the allegations against God that the evil spirit gives us. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much (Diary, 1487). In other words: they persecute me because I am faithful to you. They give me a lot of suffering because of you. Where are you, God? How can you hide from me in such a difficult moment? Could thoughts look like that which made the suffering soul to reveal the temptations to God? “Diary” is a kind of a record from the battlefield in which the enemy’s cries were written, reflecting in the fighting soul: A terrible hatred began to break out in my soul, a hatred for all that is holy and divine (Diary, 25), I was tormented by terrible temptations all day; blasphemies thrust themselves upon my lips, and I felt an aversion for everything that is holy and godlike. Yet I struggled throughout the day (Diary, 673); I felt as though I were all alone, and various temptations attacked me (Diary, 1648).
In the process of revealing our sufferings before God, we can not omit those that we unknowingly attribute to Him. Even when they are an echo of scaring in childhood that “God will punish you”. And although it is very difficult to tell someone who we expect help from, that he seems to be the cause of our suffering – let us not give up. God has the power to disperse all temptations that cover His goodness, love, constant presence. And it is very necessary for us in the further process of approaching Him with our sufferings. And just like medicine and bandage, we put only on a disinfected wound – so temptations against God must be “disinfected” by His mercy.